Everybody has their own reasons to commit suicide but I want to say there are other ways then hurting your entire group of friends and your family. There is not a day when I do not think what could have happened to James and what I would have been if he had not passed away. His suicide letter stated how he wanted to do this for his brother. He told us how much he loved us and then took his own life popping sleeping pills, and cutting his arms until there was nothing left, bleeding into the mattress. Rye and I tried to stay strong, but on March 14th the following year, his brother then committed suicide do to the pressure left by his brother.

I still do not know why people assume that suicide is the way out. I honestly believe it is a cheap quick decision and is a way of cheating on your own life. People cannot imagine how hard it is to live through one suicide, but I have lived through two. James changed the way I viewed life, and made my comfortable in my own skin. He treated me better than anyone had, and I lost him do to a weakness in his heart.

I would like to tell you right now, there is NO way to suspect someone with suicidal thoughts, but I can GUARANTEE suicide is not the right way to leave. Not only are you ending your life, you are putting other peoples life in danger by leaving them so cruelly. You never know who needs you, until you ask, or make a permanent stamp on their life. Losing James was one of the hardest things I have ever gone through in my life. This past summer I have lost my Grandma, and a Second Mother, but to me I know they are in Heaven looking down on me. They both lived great lives as long as they could and put up a fight. However, James was still young and was everything to me at the moment. I would like to thank him for everything he did to me, and curse him for the hardships he put me through.

This is to a boy whose life was cut short. This is to a boy whose life strongly influenced my own. this is to the one person who knew EXACTLY what I liked, and how I liked it. This is to the idiot who blasted Green Day music in his parents car. This is to the amazing boyfriend who would sing Moulin Rouge with me everyday. This is to you James. I miss you dearly. You're an idiot whose choices in his life has made my life a living hell.

If I could see you right now, this is the part I'd run up to hug you, hold you for a while, then kick you in the nuts and flip you off.

I love you. I miss you.

Rest In Peace.