SHINee ♥

ONEW ★ TAEMIN ★ JONGHYUN ★ MINHO ★ KEY

I was scared last Saturday. I was honestly freaking out. I couldn't believe I was this far from home with no one to help me. I didn't know what to do, and if it wasn't for my dad's strict words I think I would still be hacking in my bed.

Because of this weekend I've had a lot of time to reflect on my life right now. I didn't think I had that many friends already. Like honestly I don't know what I would've done withouth Brandi, Kara, and Steph. Not only that Sam and Ashley who brought me home. I still feel bad that I left the room in a crappy condition like that for Sam ;-;

I also realized how much I love my second family here. I love Sarah more than ever and I've realized how much I miss actually hanging with her. I also realized how much her parents mean to me. Their big hearts help me a lot; and I've never really thanked them.

But right now; I'm starting to realize how much I'm not really ready for college. All I really want to do is sleep. My body needs sleep, my mind needs sleep, and my nerves need sleep. But I know if I dont' go to classes this whole thing will be a flunk; and I won't be doing what I need to do. I strongly believe I'll be pushing myself tomorrow but I need to. I need to prove to myself I'm not a lazy bum. I need to prove to myself that I'm ready to be responsible.

I mean, yeah, I get tired walking to my car. Yeah, going up the stairs hurt like you wouldn't believe; but I feel like a failure if I don't do what I'm supposed to. That isn't such a bad thing right? It just means that I really want to succeed in this situation. Maybe after I do things tomorrow I'll feel better. But I have to remember my promise to myself, others, and my parents. I think the hardest thing is making everyone's wantings and suggestions to fall together as one.

Who knows...Maybe this uncertainty is for the best...

샤이니 ★ SHINee

xiao tian has a wish; don't you?
☀ 365 Reasons To Smile
☀ The chance to meet Chord
☀ See Super Junior Live again
☀ To have a FERRIS WHEEL TOUR with my dear X0
☀ Amazing Knowledge of Chinese, Taiwanese, Korean, and Japanese
☀ I've eaten 81 airplanes.
☀ I've wished on 56 ramen bowls.