To whom it may concern... @ 2:29:00 PM
Xiao Kong:
I'm not mad at you, I never have been. Okay, I am a little mad that's just because I'm tired of hearing excuses from you and this house. I'm tired of feeling like I'm the only one working so hard to make time for everybody. It's hard to spend time with you, my family, and Preston. Not to mention work at Walmart, the musical, and school work. I just got so mad last night because I asked you to do something and you didn't. I just wanted to be left alone. I didn't think it was so hard to do. I'm sorry you thought I meant something else, I just wanted to be left alone. I still do. I want to be left alone until I return from Ohio. That's it. I need time to realize that this is my future, and it's what I want, and the fact that everyone yells at me for not doing certain things is really getting annoying. And the fact that you didn't tell XH and XO that I wanted to be left alone, or they didn't listen, just totally added onto it all.
Xiao Ling:
I'm tired of trying to explain myself to everybody. I'm full out tired. I'm tired mentally, physically, and emotionally. I'm tired of everybody getting mad at me all the time. It may not feel like it to you, but when you sarcastically say something like "Yeah your ignoring me" like yesterday morning, I'm sorry that I didn't want to hear about UWP one of the reasons I got super pissed at the first point. I'm sorry I didn't want to hear from everyone in that corner how amazing it was. I'm sorry I was staying home working on my homework and planning for my trip to Ohio. I'm also sorry that I don't listen to you enough. And I'm sorry that I sat by your locker this morning. >> I was only sitting there until Watchler came. I didn't think it would be that big of a problem considering you left with XK anyway. I'm tired of having to choose between friends, family, and a boyfriend. Because frankly I can't do it all anymore. I have the musical (which i missed last night because i started throwing up from and upset stomach, thank you), I have a job, and now I'm leaving for my future. The only reason why I'm ignoring everybody is because I need a break. I didn't think it would be that much to ask to be alone for awhile. That's why I asked XK to tell you and XH that I wanted to be left alone. I wanted to be ignored, so I could ignore. And I clearly said: "but right now, i just need some space/as it is totally obvious c:/plzkthnx." I'll be the happy cheery Xiao Tian when I get back.
But as for everybody. I don't see why I'm the only one that gets attacked. I left everybody alone, and yet I get attacked from all sides. I'm the only one to get yelled at. It sucks big time. I understand I'm not the greatest person alive, or even the nicest but frankly when I ask for something, like to be alone for a while, I expect to be left alone. And I thought I made it clear to EVERYONE! That I'm tired of making all the plans. I'm tired of doing the asking. I'm tired of seeming that I'm the only one trying to get priorities straight. It could be that I'm just freaking out because I'm totally leaving, but hey, it's what I want.
I'm sorry things ended up like this, but this is really getting annoying. I understand that everyone has a right to be pissed off, or angry. I just don't see why I'm the only one being attacked. And when I asked to be left alone, it's like I'm going off the deep end. You guys have no idea how much I love, cherish, and hope the best for you. You have no idea how much I cried last night, not because I was sad, it was because I was upset I was saying and doing these things to my friends.
Xiao Ling