This song just like shocks my nerves and calms me down. So bad. . .

I guess I wanna give up. (: I've planned so many things with everyone and it just backfires. I get hated by one person by doing something another person told me to do. It's happened so much lately. I swear Phys. Therapy is making it worse. It sucks so much. It hurts so bad. But whatever.

I don't think I'm going to do anything with the four of us anymore. It seems too fake. Like we're making us stay and talk. I don't even know what I have in common with my friends anymore. I've been getting these stupid eye rolls from X0 lately that just feel like stab through the heart. I feel like I'm being attacked by everyone. But knowing my personality, I bet I attacked them first, it's always like that. I don't want to try anymore. You three just have so much in common with each other and not me anymore.

I bet if it wasn't for a few idol's and KO3. X0 and I wouldn't even talk anymore because we don't have anything to talk about. Why is it that my friendships always last so short? It's always because of what I like. It seems like when I like something new it's not good enough for anyone. I've lost my self-satisfaction I used to have. Now I'm just there... I'm over looking things again. I really need to stop that.

I want to go away for a while again. I'm so nervous to hand in these college applications, and it seems like I have no support anywhere. My dad doesn't want me going off to college. My mom just wants me to get in to a college, and I just want to be satisfied. When I ask teachers questions they don't really help, and worst of all. I'm so concentrated on getting good grades I'm not really don't anything for pleasure. I've been working my butt off in AP Eng, and Bio II, and I'm not getting anywhere. I kind of want to drop AP Eng because I know I can't keep up. I'm so afraid that I won't get into OSU. It's all I really want, and no one is supporting me. I'm just standing here confused with a dream all alone. I'm just being selfish I know that's it. But I really don't care. I haven't cried this hard in a long time.

Why do I feel like this? When did this all come back? Just leave me alone. I can't handle the emotions anymore. Just don't forget me. Don't roll your eyes, and don't shake your head. Don't sit there acting like you care. I'll just shut up from now on. Since when I talk, it seems like no one listens. I just don't want to do anything anymore...

Does this mean I give up?