lol, the 100th post in my blog is a big ol' depressing rant lolol. it would be.
I'm ignoring the yearning voice of Jackie that is outside my locked door (who would have thought that those keys would come in handy).
I feel like total fucking shit. It's like I go to work and everyone just ignores me. I actually enjoy my job. I like seeing Christina, Ashely and Lanny. I love working with Cali, Dori, Jeb, and Tony. I like making jokes all the time, but somethings change. It's like they don't even bother talking to me anymore. It fucking sucks. It feels like I've done something so wrong, that everyone is turning their backs on me.
I'm planning on purchasing Ohio tickets next week. I can't wait to go. I really can't. It'll be my mini vacation. I can't wait to see Sarah face to face either. But there is a lot holding me back from going. I feel like being gone from another week will distroy my job, I feel like I won't even be able to look at anyone without them glaring at me.
Not only that the county fair is going to be the 12-14. When I won't be here. While I'm in Ohio. I was going to go with Jackie and we were going to have so much fun. But now I can't even do that. I feel like everything I've planned with my friends is falling into pieces.
I don't even know if we're still going to the zoo or not. I haven't heard from Katreina about plans, and Elizabeth and I don't talk anymore. I think this whole fandom thing is part of the cause. We don't really have too much to talk about anymore, so we don't.
I don't like working everyday. I don't like never being home. I don't like not being able to do things regular teenagers should do during their summer. I can't stand it it sucks.
To top it all off, I've been getting annoyed at everything again. Like the other day when Jackie cleaned the room she never brought down ther mops, and brooms, and the dirty water she used for mopping is just sitting here. It took her forever to take down the garbage.
I wake up every morning around 6:30, do some small house work, get ready for walmart. Go to walmart, come home, and try to find time to myself. Even on my days off I don't sleep in anymore. I'm stuck in a rut and I want out. But that's not going to happen.
If it wasn't for the money I was making at walmart, I would quit and find time for myself. I don't like it anymore. I don't have anytime for myself, and because of that my friendships are falling apart.
Xiao Ling