you know, i have so much to write about it's
insaaane okay lets get started on
seulies insanely log blog that is not a full complete rant for once~!
I love doing people greeter breaks when I work. I had another one hour one to cover the other day. Even though I have been feeling amazing lately, something is always on my mind. It's always the same question. "why"
Why is it you feel these 1000 emotions? Why is fate so cruel to some? Why does everything seem okay? Why can't I see things like them? I feel so calm when I'm with
Kangin (
seulie's now using code names *
fangirl*)II feel like nothing can touch me. I feel great but then I always wonder why I can't return feelings or see what he sees. Like today while I took a nap in his arms I woke up on my own only to hear the haunting piano of Over The Rainbow. Depression flooded my body. I only wanted to cry in his arms thinking that he'd be Dave, rye even Jimmy. That's not fair to
Kagin is it? Why does Fate haunt me? I thought I met
Arica only to meet Jimmy only so he could go away~~ Leave me. And fate said "LOVE SOMEONE ELSE D<" and I tried and tried but every time I get hurt or it doesn't work I run back to
Kangin. One of these days he won't be there, he'll be tired of me using him. I'll need to fall in love--what if I
do love him? How awkward would that be?
Why am I moving so far away from
Xiao Ling? I still listen to Fahrenheit but I don't find them as good. They still look good and have great songs, dramas etc. but they are childish and a poor boy band compared to Super Junior. I was ranting about this the other day. It's true. They are way more mature, and their vocals and lyrics are
waaay better. Not to mention the amazing live performances they give. It's pure talent. I feel bad for leaving her behind. Maybe she's just too stubborn. I strongly believe that if
SUJU was all Chinese she wouldn't have a problem with them. It's just because the are Korean. :| I guess it's note of my business. I'll be find as long as she doesn't leave me. I'll do my best to prevent that from happening.
I am now going to shove someone else in the shove of my
SUJU Net. Everyone says I'm a lot like
Leeteuk, so I'll be comparing every in my life as if they were part of
Teuk's life. It'll be harder since I don't know him as well but it'll work. You'll be the
Eunhyuk.
Hyuk is the kind of guy everyone thinks is a couple with
Teuk, but they aren't. They are just
sooo close. But every now and then it feels like
Hyuk is jealous of people when
Teuk isn't talking to him. It's like you.
Hyuk always asks why I like him, or why I'm friends with him and constantly doubts himself. He's addicted to me. It's so awkward. I don't want to like you how you like me, but at the same time I don't want to hurt you. He's putting pressure I don't need on my life.
Hyuk brings happiness too. Even though
Hyuk can be a little too obsessed
fangirl and can only see how hot they are, and nothing else we always end up laughing
waaaay too hard and singing like idiots. It's okay though. It's what
Hyuk brings to my life---even when
Kangin is around I feel like it's going to explode into some awkward
HenWookHae, where I'm standing around and one is holding my arm and the other one dragging me around~
I feel like I'm not good enough for some people--they have to understand my life and why I am like I am. I maybe a
fangirl but there is some reasoning to it all--
ithink. I don't mind being a
fangirl. I enjoy it. As long as the group has a few good songs and 1 good looking guy I'm there. Besides Translations bring the amazing-
ness to it all. Ultimate
fangirl and I'm okay with it. Oh~ I have become a
fangirl of
Yiruma totally. I love his music.
I'm afraid for
chirstmas I'm not going to get things people like. I'm always questioning myself.
It seems as if I can't do anything right. I'm a big fat blob of
emo~
yayforemo~! (:
But when I do, do something right, it doesn't feel like it is.
A new person to fret over.
Eunhyuk. I'm always so worried that I'll hurt him. I don't think eh understands what I'm saying or even asking. I don't think he ever will.
It's not my problem and it's causing me stress-funny right?
And on the other side of things I don't mind being a
KangTeuk lets follow this. I'll be the
Teuk and you an be the
Kang. (:
Kangin has the feelings for
Leeteuk that's why he stays.
Teuk can use
Kangin as much as he wants and still have a forbidden love for Henry. I don't care that we are, I love it. (:
On the COMPLETE other side of things my
fangirl is ready to explode. Fahrenheits new album comes out
soooon, and 3Jib is being recorded. I am down to 3
CD's left in my
SUJU collection- then I'm
bookin' it over to China/Taiwan to make sure I get all
FLH,
Danson, Show, and Chords album (if it ever comes out ;-;).
FLH CD's tend to be pricier~
Ohwell. Then I'm finally getting my
Yesung necklace~~ I'm also getting this awesome set of earrings
Wook wore to this interview "M-7" because that doesn't SCREAM
fangirl. I'm also getting SJ05 and SJ-H cheap
CD's. 12 dollars a piece (: I
wooould be getting
SSSJDVD (Super Show Super Junior Digital Video Disc) but it was sold out :/ I'll wait ever so impatiently until I get it. BUT if the concert that just happened in Shanghai is getting one I'll get that one. SJ-M and Henry dude (:
waaay better. So I really only have
SSSJ, SJ-T, and SJ-U Single left.
Yus! By that time
FLH,
Danson and hopefully Chord will have their albums done.
Ug. The money you spend on
fangirling.
NOT TO MENTION i still need a 2PM and
Danson poster for my room--
Once again Ultimate
FangirlThat would be an
epik sweater. The back have my top 5 Asians on it and the front say "Ultimate
Fangirl ISA" It would rock to a great existence.
I'm glad this week was short. I needed the relaxation and spending it talking to my
Jie Jie and laying around with my
Kangin is just what I need.
I got the update on Eddy. 2 Years.... No bail. I'm going to visit him sometime next week I think... I'm kind of sad in a way pathetic huh?
Xiao Ling