Livin' In The SHINee World

Saturday, October 11, 2008

天 @ 10:47:00 PM

it's been a long day that's for sure
i never did make a cake for Henry
i feel really bad about it, but I don't
i was helping~ ithink
anyways
Happy 19th Birthday Henry~
I'll make you a 'late birthday' cake during MEA
D8
And my favorite member too
ohwell

today i went with Jackie, my mom, and Ginelle, to Sioux Falls.
just to see Holly (Jackie's mom).
she's doing okay i guess
we all know what's really going on but she stays really positive about things
it makes me feel inspired i'm not sure why

at this hospital we were at they had this gorgeous sanctuary place
the entire 6 story wall was covered in veins, and some reached up above the building
all of it grew out of the way of the windows and the place was so calm
i was struck with depression only remember my camera had been broken since june-ish
i was without a camera, in a place where my full memory card would've been filled
i ended up just filling up my phone with pictures and i'm still not done getting them all on to a computer
the place was had the faint music if upbeat church type music
and there was this statue of Jesus
it was one of the few that i wasn't afraid of and i was proud to say that
from a distance it looked like he was glowing, and i had heard at night there is just a light shinning on him

we roamed the hospital some more, only to find my mother had bought me these amazing colored pencils
they were made from recycled chinese newspapers
it's bound so tight together that it acts as a wood, it's pure recyclable
i flipped~

we roamed around some more and decided we'd check out the chapel
it was haunting
i walked in a i could feel like the air was thicker only a few lights were light
and a candle was burning
they had bottles of holy water, rosaries, and praying beads
on the sides of the walls they had these crosses
if you started on the front of the right side and followed them around
it told the story of the crucifiction
the whole place just shot down everything

my current drama's basically tell my emotions at this point
hot shot went over and said how the hospital is both amazing and gruesome
so many people are born and so many people die
and you can't help them all
even on our way just to see Holly we could hear this baby cry really loudly
but at the other end of the hallway a man had his back rested up against the door frame crying
shigeshoshi covers it well too
shin-chan works his best with the dead
just because your dead doesn't mean anything
your gone, and no matter who you are people are going to miss you
you have people die everyday from natural cause, why be the one person who does it themselves
you have a full life live it

yet today was a good day
we went out for subway
have great memories to share
and above all we're now closer

i love picking names for blogs
like today
天
I'm so honored to have this character in my chinese name
tian- god, heavenly, sky
something so great you can't control
just sitting in my name
what did i ever do to get blessed with a name like that?
I really don't know but i appreciate it more now

-Iseul; Ai Tian

샤이니 ★ SHINee