Livin' In The SHINee World

Monday, October 10, 2011

EYK: Simon and Martina: My Input. @ 12:58:00 PM

Today I thought if Simon and Martina want input on Super Junior, eh, I’ll give it to them. To start I’d like to state my place so this doesn’t sound too biased. My favorite entertainment company in Kpop is SM by far. I enjoy all of their bands, I’ve been a huge Super Junior fan since Don’t Don came out. I see no wrong in saying “SM has superior groups”. Most SM groups have been super successful: H.O.T, DBSK, SJ, and SHINee and SNSD are on the rise.

As far as Super Junior music videos go, as an ELF, every time they make a comeback I’m always more entertained from the teasers. The teaser videos always give me something to work with, and something to dream about: but I always know that the music video is going to be the same. Honestly, I think it’s because their first Dancing-In-A-Box (or DIB as I like to call them) music video was Sorry Sorry. Twins, had them dancing in a box, but it showed off the boys for the first time. A lot of first videos have the members dancing being cute; and it works. But once Sorry Sorry blew up Asia the DIB style kind of stuck.

SM was taking a risk chance doing a DIB music video, and because it was so successful (because of the song, and dance) Sorry Sorry changed SM’s perspective of Super Junior. It’s You was released, and it was a flawless music video (one of my favorites by far), it had the DIB style but also the story plot. I totally agree, with that many members, you have a way higher chance to pull off a mini-movie type of MV. It’s You is the perfect example of this. You see each member breaking up, being let down, fighting with a fictional girl, it works COMPLETELY for them. No Other also followed the style in a cutie form, but personally I didn’t find it as powerful as It’s You.

Well, since It’s You was part of the comeback for Sorry Sorry it really doesn’t affect the reasoning behind SM’s move. I’m pretty sure they smiled at the wad of money they received from Sorry Sorry and instantly thought: Hey! Sorry, Sorry was catching and all we did is put them in a box with cool lighting. Lets boost up the sex appeal and do it again. Not only do we save money, we’ll make twice as much with the new followers we got from Sorry Sorry. BIG MISTAKE.

As much as I love watching ‘my boys’ dance in a box, showing me their sexy faces and bodies it just doesn’t work for me. There is only so much of dancing in a box I can handle. But the problem is, the songs are still catchy as f*ck! So not only am I going to continue to watch the MV’s for the sexy party time, I’m going to watch them to jam loudly smiling as I see my bias pop on screen. In a business sense it’s a smart move: Save money, while making money. But trying to get new fans, or pleasing the old ones, it sucks. Oh, what I’d give to see a Mini-Movie MV again. Give me a SJM Super Girl or even a SJH Cooking? Cooking! HELL I’D EVEN TAKE A MARRY U. Just give us a break from the DIBs. It’s all we ask.

Just because it was successful once, doesn’t mean it’s always going to work. Mr. Simple was a good MV because of the complicated dance movies, and the way it changed with each style: not because it was a DIB.

TL;DR: DIB MV’s are a cheap way to sell expensive boys. More profit.

샤이니 ★ SHINee

Monday, August 29, 2011

4 SUJU Items, 1 SHINee, 1 Danson (FOR SALE) @ 10:23:00 PM

SHINee 2nd Album Version A: $10.00 + S&H (opened to see pictures, CD never taken out)
Super Junior 4th Album Version B: $10.00 + S&H (opened to see pictures, CD never taken out)
Super Junior 4th Album Version A: $10.00 + S&H (opened, CD never taken out)
Super Junior 3rd Album Version B: $10.00 + S&H (opened, CD never taken out)
Super Junior Premium Live Event in Japan (2009) $40 This is the OFFICIAL version. Case is slightly worn, and DVD watched a few times. I just don't need it anymore.
Danson Tang The First Second (Dance or Touch): $10.00 + S&H (opened, CD never taken out. DVD watched once).

If you are located in the US Shipping is only about 3 dollars max. :c
I'm will haggle!

샤이니 ★ SHINee

Thursday, July 7, 2011

stressed @ 12:10:00 AM

All this stress is just piling up and up. I really have lost touch with the emotional control I had on things. I was an emotional wreck in college but I knew how to control them, now I can't and stress is taking over my life. I'm regretting and feeling like a failure for taking off a semester to save up money. I'm honored that I've been accepted into the University of Minnesota, but it's just not my dream school. I want and need to go to OSU. Not only that now I have a duty to actually work my butt off.

Work is just causing me so much stress I want to fall on my knees and cry. Not only did I get a promotion I don't think I deserved, I don't think I'm doing the job correctly. I love the opportunities I have and get now because of it, but I don't think I'm the right person for the job. I just don't see me as a good upper person, you know? I think I feel like I belonged at work, and now that I'm the 'boss' I feel the pressure. I know I can do it (and I have been) it's just I don't think I'm good at it. And getting my butt chewed out the other day embarrassing me in front my co-workers (the ones who I give orders to) I was yelled at in front of the customers. I feel lower on the ranks now.

I just don't see why everything seems like it's falling apart. I can't move forward. I have no one to go to, and I'm leaving no one behind. I have nothing to look forward too, and everything is just exploding in my face. Right now this medical stuff isn't helping either. I don't even think I really have this heart problem, but we'll figure that out in a few hours. I just want everything to be back to the way it was. :/

for good.

샤이니 ★ SHINee

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Four Years. @ 8:06:00 AM

Four years ago today one of the greatest people I had ever met in my life, killed himself. James Allen Fraynes, had just hit 17 and moved to New York in order to help his brother Rye gain some respect in the household. On April 24th, I had talked to James for the last time. He had repeated many times about how I would come to New York to see him, and he'd take me to all these magical places. We joked around, and before I hung up the phone I joked around telling him he was a dick.

Everybody has their own reasons to commit suicide but I want to say there are other ways then hurting your entire group of friends and your family. There is not a day when I do not think what could have happened to James and what I would have been if he had not passed away. His suicide letter stated how he wanted to do this for his brother. He told us how much he loved us and then took his own life popping sleeping pills, and cutting his arms until there was nothing left, bleeding into the mattress. Rye and I tried to stay strong, but on March 14th the following year, his brother then committed suicide do to the pressure left by his brother.

I still do not know why people assume that suicide is the way out. I honestly believe it is a cheap quick decision and is a way of cheating on your own life. People cannot imagine how hard it is to live through one suicide, but I have lived through two. James changed the way I viewed life, and made my comfortable in my own skin. He treated me better than anyone had, and I lost him do to a weakness in his heart.

I would like to tell you right now, there is NO way to suspect someone with suicidal thoughts, but I can GUARANTEE suicide is not the right way to leave. Not only are you ending your life, you are putting other peoples life in danger by leaving them so cruelly. You never know who needs you, until you ask, or make a permanent stamp on their life. Losing James was one of the hardest things I have ever gone through in my life. This past summer I have lost my Grandma, and a Second Mother, but to me I know they are in Heaven looking down on me. They both lived great lives as long as they could and put up a fight. However, James was still young and was everything to me at the moment. I would like to thank him for everything he did to me, and curse him for the hardships he put me through.

This is to a boy whose life was cut short. This is to a boy whose life strongly influenced my own. this is to the one person who knew EXACTLY what I liked, and how I liked it. This is to the idiot who blasted Green Day music in his parents car. This is to the amazing boyfriend who would sing Moulin Rouge with me everyday. This is to you James. I miss you dearly. You're an idiot whose choices in his life has made my life a living hell.

If I could see you right now, this is the part I'd run up to hug you, hold you for a while, then kick you in the nuts and flip you off.

I love you. I miss you.

Rest In Peace.

샤이니 ★ SHINee

Sunday, February 27, 2011

fast lane @ 8:22:00 PM

I've honestly been living in the fast lane. Everything I do has a complete structure to it and I have an exact plan for everything. I never just sit there and try to understand what is what.

Today while driving back to the dorms I had my slow CD playing in my car. I was going 60 on a road where I usually go 70, I was just taking it slow. The songs that played, I didn't sing with them, I didn't dance to them, I just absorbed them. I think I should do it more often, because by doing things so fast and not thinking about anything else I miss so much. I've been living in Ohio for about 6 months, and I've never really noticed how pretty the city looks at night. The lights shine, the road lit up, I've never noticed it.

During this time, I wasn't blank, I just realized how much better things are when there really is a purpose for doing it. Just driving in my car, listening to music allowed me to reflect on who I am as a person. I realize I depend way too much on other people's input. I shouldn't care what others think, because honestly I am me. I always do things for other people and I never get a thank you, or a comment on it. They just deal with it. I originally thought I should't do it if I don't get a response, but why stop being a nice person?

How other people view me shouldn't allow me to change, it should allow me to reflect. Because someone doesn't say something to me, or they don't go out of their way for me doesn't mean I should change and stop what I'm doing. I should smile and brush it off, because it allows me to see that I am the better person.

From now on, I'm leaving the fast lane.

샤이니 ★ SHINee

Sunday, January 30, 2011

because i'm worldwide international son @ 8:46:00 PM

To be honest. I'll never be afraid to scream "I LOVE EPIK HIGH".

Lovin' them until the end.

샤이니 ★ SHINee

Friday, January 28, 2011

What Possess A Fangirl? @ 7:16:00 AM

A fandom can just be a basic enjoyment. When you enjoy a band you begin to watch videos of them constantly, listen to their songs all the time, and memorize each of the members' names. For me, when I get into a fandom it controls my life. It's happened ever since I was a child. First it was small and then it grew into something I love being part of.

Throughout each of my phases I always end up feeling like nothing can harm me, and I'll never leave it. Well, as it turns out...I do leave the fandom. Some fandoms stay around and some just cause me way to much pain to even over look. But lately I've realized something. I'm the type of girl who sees an ideal man and wants him. But something has become awkward about my patterns.

All over the Korean Pop music fandoms people pledge their love to idols. Some people carve their name on their arms, write blood letters to try to prove their love to the idols. But what would cause a fangirl to do that? Do you think they would be proud to see that floating over the internet? That a girl is willing to almost kill herself to prove her love to an idol? So why do fangirl's fall in love with idols? I think it's because they are, IDOLS. Idols are made to be the perfect guy, and for me it works out.

My heart is always becomes uneasy when I see my idol. But somewhere inside of me I do feel a genuine love for this man who I've never REALLY met. Yeah, I've seen him on stage once..but that's once; and even back then I wasn't really sold into his charisma, his smile, and his personality. I was just fan. Today would be the first time we met. You say that to everybody you meet. I always talk to you with your back facing me. If we blocked everybody's ears, I'm hoping that you would listen to only what I had to say. Seeing you walk away makes me go into a trance state. Far far away you have become a dot--Where can I see you?

I can remember when I first entered the Super Junior fandom. I constantly saw men who were designed to steal womens heart, this is how fanbases grow to massive amounts. In this fandom I honestly thought my heart was sold to a certain man, we'll call him...Henry. I'd watch his performances and get butterflies. I'd see his smile and flip out, hear his voice and want to cry, hear his violin and gush at the flawless noise I heard--But when I saw him live it changed. I don't know if it was the thought that I never actually saw him...close, or it felt like he was ignoring me, but my heart changed. I still get giddy when I see him, but the feeling just isn't the same.

Now, of course, I've been drowning in another fandom getting my thoughts ahead. When I describe my ideal guy...WHAM that's him. I know, I'll never be with him, but making reasons on why I love him (or want to love him at that) just make me feel better about the whole situation.

No one knows what I'm feeling. Even though it hurts, I keep repeating. I can't stop, love, love, love. (Epik High, Love Love Love) I tend to repeat my love goings. I sometimes I think I love people so quickly (with receiving no love in return, it's different if I would get emotions back) is because I try to bury my past relationship in a false one. Each fangirl has their own reason for falling in love with an idol, but whatever it is, am I the only one that thinks that I'll forever be alone because of these feelings I have for men I've never really met?

I know I can't have you, but you're always in my head. Even though I can't touch you, it's just wishful thinking. I can't say it, watching from far away, you know I do, I Love You, even though you don't know who I am. (Epik High, Fan) Even if I'm just a fangirl, my feelings sometime seem like the are truer than true. And because of that, I'll still say "I love you" to your picture before I fall asleep. It seems obsessive (I'm not going to put in a defense because it totally is), but to me, the one who has so much love for someone who doesn't even know me, it's comforting. It's comforting to fall asleep to false sense that you are here holding me. Thoughts of kissing you tonight, I hold my pillow tighter.

If it gets rid of my evil thoughts, and helps me calm down, why not believe it? So because of that I do love you. My love for you is buried under the world's love, for you, you're not listening, I will never be allowed to love you. In the next life we would live separate lives, but I want you so much I can't go back. When I hear your upset what can I do for you? Nothing. But when I'm upset you help me out easily, it's the way things go with a one sided love right? Why aren't you smiling today? I hope nothing is wrong. I wish I could take your pain away, but I can't... And that saddens me. If I ask you how you are doing would you answer me? Hug me? I can't reach you, touch you, or hold you.

I'm going to meet you in my dreams again tonight.

So what does possess a fangirl to fall in love with an idol? Why would an innocent girl fall in love with a man who would never return their love? Why would she suffer by getting strange looks for who she loves? Why does this happen? Even in my dreams, people dissaprove. They say I'm crazy, if I erase the world that would make you mine. Why would I lose you to anybody else? I'll make it so that you'll only look at me. I'll give you everything when we kiss. I'll give you everything so that you can never leave me.

You are my star.

I'm your number one fan.

Baby, please, take my hand.

Even if I'm just another person to add to the "I LOVE ____" list, to me, these feelings are real. But why am I different from somebody who has never felt this before? Why should I have to wish I was with him, and soon realize that it'll never be?

Oh, I know I can't have you, but you're always in my head. Even though I can't touch you, it's just wish thinking). You know I love you. Even though don't know who I am. Boys and girls who have fallin in psychotic love say oh! Boys and girls who have fallen in idiotic love say oh!

OH!

샤이니 ★ SHINee